Choices From The Heart
by oneblackbird
Summary: Clarke feels lost after leaving Camp Jaha and has no idea of what to do and how to get over Lexa and everything she's done to her, but a letter from an unknown sender might have the power to change everything.


As soon as Clarke left Camp Jaha she regreted it. She thought that being by herself with a lot of time to think would make her feel better, it didn't. Now she just wanted to come back home. But where was that anyway? She didn't even know it anymore, it wasn't just about the killing, it was pretty much... _Everything,_ and everything led back to Lexa, she thought about her, a lot.

Clarke knew the second Lexa kissed her that she was in love. She got scaried, more scaried than she's even been in her life, because she knew Lexa didn't do feelings and that she would _always_ choose with her head instead of her heart, Clarke already knew that in that time, she knew it even better now, after Lexa chose her people over her, Clarke also knew she was right and that she'd probably do the same if it was her, but it still hurt, it hurt more than she'd like to admit.

And now she was alone, no mom, no friends, no enemies, no Lexa. And she had no idea of what to do, to make the pain go away, to get over everything, if that was even possible. Lexa once told her that feelings are weakness and that to make the pain go away, she must stop caring, but is it possible? And even if it is, is it worthy? To change everything she knew about herself... But even if Clarke wanted to, she knew it wasn't actually possible, she's seen Lexa, the way she pretended not to care, not to suffer, while on the inside the real feelings were still there, feelings like the one tormenting her right now, that specific feeling for the commander.

Last night she was alone in the woods and a grounder came to her, in peace, he gave her a letter, from God knows who, she hadn't read it... Yet. She was afraid, afraid of who that letter might have came from, afraid because a part of her – a very, very big part – wanted it to be from Lexa, apologizing, congratulating, explaining herself... saying anything, she just wanted it to be from Lexa. On the other hand, she didn't, her mind was praying for it to be from anyone else, anyone else, but the commander who stole her heart.

After a long night of confusing thoughts, she decided to read it, whatever it was and she couldn't fake her disappointment, at least not to herself, when she realized it wasn't from Lexa at all, in fact, she didn't even know who the sender was, she's never heard of anyone named _Luna,_ so she read it anyway, without much expetation, but still curious enough to read it all.

 _Dear Clarke (is it like that your people talk through letters right?) you don't know me, we've never met, but I've heard of you, a lot and from lots of different people. Especially from my friend, Lexa. We've been friends from years and I must say I've never seen her so excited about anyone like that before, at least not since Costia. Has she told you about her? Well, if she did, that only proves what I'm trying to tell you. Lexa never talks to anyone about it, not even me. When it happened, it took her months to actually talk about how she was feeling, we had that talk once and after that, she's never talked about it anymore. That's it, until you. You changed everything and I believe you know it, but not fully understand it and if you don't you'll never be able to understand why she did what she did to you and to forgive her. Lexa loves you. That is it, she loves you and you know that too, because I have a feeling that you might love her back and if you do, you must go after her. She believes you hate her now, she's different since she came back to Polis after the war, I feel like somehow, deep down, she hopes you'll go after her, she's giving you your time and a choice. After Lexa leaves Polis she'll believe it's over, that there's no more hope for her feelings anymore, that you'll never forgive her. It is your choice to make Clarke and this time, chose with your heart._

 _Luna of the east of the sea._

Clarke was surprised, intrigued, that was, in fact the final answer to all of her problems, Lexa was the real problem, the problem that was still out there, apparently waiting for her. While she told herself she was "thinking about it", she already knew her answer, what her heart wanted, what it needed and when she realized, she was already on her way to Polis.


End file.
